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Managing Conflict with Emotional Intelligence

Training Summary/Briefing

Emotional Intelligence is a topic that spans self and social contexts on a variety of levels. Personal mastery is a term often associated with Emotional Intelligence (EQ) as it usually means the ability to self-regulate and manage reactionary behaviour. Conflicts are often a result of lack of self-awareness and regulation coupled with a challenge of not understanding one another. Daniel Goleman’s book broke down EQ into five primarily elements: Self Awareness and Self-Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills.

Conflict is often a result of unmet expectations, uncommunicated needs or misunderstandings. While there are potentially more “causes” of conflicts, those three make up the bulk of the triggers that create conflict. There are two elements to conflict that need to be resolved in order to progress things toward a resolution: 1. Self-regulation of reactivity and 2. Mutual Understanding. Both of these elements are critical to generating conflict resolutions and both of them are, coincidentally key areas that Emotional Intelligence focuses on.

By understanding ourselves, we can empathize and understand the other stakeholders we are engaging with. This improves our ability to lead, communicate, build relationships and deal with conflicts.  Self-awareness is about understanding our current state, issues and triggers by becoming aware of our present feelings, emotions and body sensations for instance, we are clued into our overall state.

By understanding ourselves, we can empathize and understand the other stakeholders we are engaging with. This improves our ability to lead, communicate, build relationships and deal with conflicts.  Self-awareness is about understanding our current state, issues and triggers by becoming aware of our present feelings, emotions and body sensations for instance, we are clued into our overall state.

To become aware however, people need to learn what to look for and how to interpret that. Once that is achieved, we are able to make choices about whether our current state is beneficial or harmful to our intended outcome. Through this, we develop the ability to empathize and understand others.

In this programme, participants will learn how EQ plays a role in effectively managing difficult conversations and conflicts. They will also learn both the foundations of self-awareness and tools to interpret their own emotional state as well as that of others to better navigate those challenging discussions. Meanwhile they will be exposed to tools, techniques, and tips to shift and actively change those personal emotional states which are not beneficial. The core framework for this approach wil be utilising the Thomas-Kilmann Model of conflict resolution but it will be expanded upon and broken down ingo practical tools and techniques.

This approach will support to enhance empathy and utilising motivating factors to generate and ultimately create resolutions and understanding, and distinctions will be taught to support understanding the difference between empathy and sympathy. All of this will culminate understanding how to engage more effectively with stakeholders.

The programme will provide a structured and systemic approach to through all 5 key EQ skills outlined by Daniel Goleman and leave the participants armed with practical ways be emotionally self-aware and intelligent.

Objectives

Upon completion of the workshop, participants should be able to

  • Learn to read, understand, and react to our own as well as the emotional state of others.
  • Have a clear way to identifying their personal emotional triggers.
  • Understand several tools to clear and shift emotional states.
  • Practically manage high-stress situations, discussions and conflict.
  • Learn how to manage oneself and others during difficult conversations.

Programme Methodology

All sessions will be conducted through blend of live online content and interactive activities. The primary method of delivery will be through power point presentations, handouts and flip charts, but will often blend some aspects of experiential learning, question and answer, and coaching to help anchor and enhance the lessons.

These blending of the techniques centre on enhancing retention and absorption. When paired with interactive activities with the participants to understand the application of the lessons.

The intention and design of this methodology is to have the participants see how they will deliver and present in real life. Debriefs and application of lessons occur in real-time and result in a clear understanding of their behaviour and experience. It will support participants to create action steps to correct missteps in their results once they leave the training.

Ultimately the sessions will be instructional in nature and later followed by participant lead discussion sessions in a “teach to learn” format as follows:

Instructor Led Content Sessions

These sessions are traditionally delivered sessions which focus on knowledge transfer from the instructor/facilitator. They will install the concepts, principles and key learning points that lead to the foundation of the understanding for the participants.

Breakout/Application Sessions

These sessions focus on application and discussion. Format for this will vary depending on the subject matter.

In the breakout format, the participants will be divided into smaller groups to discuss, analyse or apply concepts through the use of case studies and examples.

In the case of application session format, participants bring real-world challenges to the table and discuss the application of the newly transferred knowledge directly in the session.

Large and Small Group Debrief Sessions

In this format the participants will take turns moving from the audience into a lead role. The key principle of this model is “teach to learn” in which the act of having to explain, teach and facilitate brings new depth of understanding. During the masterclasses, the lead facilitator will support the participants as a “mentor” more than the core facilitator to support them through the process.

 

Programme Delivery

Sessions will be conducted primarily in English, but other languages are available, by request.
Delivery of content will be done primarily through presentations blending power point, flipchart and handout materials.
All modules will be broken down into 90 to 120 hours session with breaks in between

Module Structure:

Programme Content (F2F)

Module 1:
The Foundations of Emotional Intelligence and Conflict Resolution

Day 1

Session 1 : 40 Mins

Scope Covered

Foundations of EQ

Key Learnings

• Learn to understand the 5 Key Sectors of EQ.
• Learn the difference between IQ and EQ.
• Begin to develop the understanding of Personal and Interpersonal Working
• Learn the foundations of self-regulation and emotional management.

Session 2 : 45 Mins

Understanding Emotion and How that Creates Conflicts

• Understand the Emotions Scale and it impacts the decision-making process and in turn can create conflict.
• Develop a fundamental understanding of how shifting emotional states can improve decision making in practical terms.
• Learn to read emotions in others and understand how to speak to their emotional state and need.

Break 10 Mins

Group Emotions Activity
30 Min

• An activity will be used here to understand how emotions play a major role in conflicts, both as a cause but also in creating triggers.
• There are three possible activities, client to advise preference:
1. Emotional Awareness Meditation
Simple Verbally led meditation to increase personal awareness and reflection. This assists with self-awareness and ultimately regulation of emotional biases that may arise when moderating or engaged in conflict.
2. Decoding Emotions Exercise
There are 4 roles in this activity and can be done as a large group:
1. Speaker
2. Facial Non-Verbal Decoder
3. Body Non-Verbal Decoder
4. Speech Decoder
The speaker is given a script and informed of what emotion they are to intentionally demonstrate.
Each Decoder will need to focus on the type of emotion being communicated by the speaker.
The objective is to accurately perceive the emotional state which helps improve empathy and understanding..
3. Emotional Core Beliefs
Participants will be asked to choose a few difficult emotions to work with (Fear, Sadness, Anger, etc) and explore what assumptions we make about each of them. This will help to demonstrate how misunderstandings can easily occur through biases.

Break 10 Mins

Session 3 : 45 Min

Conflict Resolution Framework

• Combining the sessions prior, this session will bring to a culmination all the tools and techniques into a framework.
• Looking at communication, negotiation, while blending motivators and relationship building the structure will allow participants to see how conflict, and more specifically the people involved can be managed effectively.
• Here participants will be introduced to the Thomas-Kilmann Model of conflict resolution and its 4 strategies.

Session 4 : 45 Min

Conflict Resolution:
Process

• Participants will be introduced to the 8 Steps of conflict resolution.
• Explanations and distinctions for each will be given.
• This will provide a framework for the following sessions.

Lunch Break (70 Mins)

Module 2:
Understanding Conflicts and Managing Stakeholder

Day 1

Session 5 : 45 Mins

Scope Covered

 The Underlying Causes of Conflict

Key Learnings

  • Learn the fundamentals of Conflict Triggers.
  • We will look at Misunderstanding and how it creates conflicts.
  • Participants will look at the idea of unmet expectations generating conflict.
  • And participants will explore how unspoken needs create conflict.
  • Distinctions will be given between needs and wants. .

Break 10 Mins

Session 6 : 90 Min

Application in the Workplace

  • This session will be a facilitated open dialogue led by the trainers and in partnership with the participants.
  • Participants will be asked to bring real experiences of past or current conflicts into a discussion in the room.
  • The intention is to apply their newly learned frameworks and tools to the conflicts.
  • Working a group, participants will be brainstorming and looking for new perspectives, and usage of the tools.
  • Emphasis will be place on existing and real conflicts with internal or external stakeholders over theoretical scenarios.

Day 1 Wrap up 30 Mins

  • This will be a discussion with pre-created questions designed to have participants recognize and document lessons as well as start generating takeaways.
  • Participants will be asked to distil key lessons and takeaways with each other.
  • Groups will be broken into 4 or 5 participants allowing each of them to take turns leading and sharing in the conversation.

Module 3:
Tools for Resolving Conflict

Day 2

Session 7 : 30 Min

Scope Covered

Managing Misunderstanding in Communication

Key Learnings

  • The 4 Pillars of Communication.
  • Introduction to the Stakeholder Engagement Strategies.
  • Barriers to understanding will also be shared and explored as they relate to creating conflict.
  • The barriers will also be used a key metric for application in resolving conflicts.

Session 8 : 45 Min

Conflict Resolution Strategies

• The 5 most common strategies for conflict resolution will be introduce in this session:
   1. Active Listening
   2. Creating Perspective for All Parties
   3. Converting Complaints into Action
   4. Creating Empathy Between Parties
   5. Generating Accountability
• Participants will be exposed to simple, applicable strategies to create compromise and mutual agreement during a conflict.
• The three primary strateg5ies to be explore are:
   1. Facilitation of Discussion
   2. Mediation by a Third Party
• Creative Problem Solving

Break 10 Mins

Session 9 : 45 Min

Understanding Motivation and its Influence on Creating and Resolving Conflict

• Participants will learn the difference between tangible/extrinsic and intangible/intrinsic motivators.
• Clarification on different forms of internal motivation will be made: Autonomy, Recognition, Achievement, Fear, etc…
• Motivators often manifest as unspoken needs which create conflict but also act as a tool for resolution.
• Participants will learn how motivators are critical for creating agreement and supporting forward moving conversations in the face of organizational changes, initiatives, conflicts and/or disagreements.

Break 10 Mins

Session 10 : 45 Min

Empathy as a Conflict Resolution Tool

• Empathy is a core skill needed to create resolution and the various uses for how it is used to help resolve conflicts will be explored.
• Distinctions will be made between sympathy and empathy.
• Participants will be introduced to the Empathy Quadrant Tool which will allow them to develop their ability to see perspectives in a conflict.
• A video will be shown between two parties in conflict and they will be asked to map the two parties conflicts are demonstrating.

Lunch Break (70 Mins)

Session 11 : 45 Min

How to Prepare for Win-Win Negotiations and Resolutions

• Understand the Win-Win Model of Negotiation
• Learn to develop the Conditions of Satisfaction for Excellent Negotiations
• Understand the sabotaging limiters to negotiation and how to overcome them.

Break 10 Mins

Session 12 : 90 Min

Application in the Workplace (Continued)

• Continuing from the previous discussion, lessons and action plans will be created from the content learned as well as discussions from earlier.
• The key function of the session is to create actionable plans for the participants to apply during their day-to-day operational roles.

Day 2 Wrap up 30 Mins

• This will be a discussion with pre-created questions designed to have participants recognize and document lessons as well as start generating takeaways.
• Participants will be asked to distil key lessons and takeaways with each other.
• Participants will be asked to complete 2 surveys:
o Training Assessment
o Post Training Learning Evaluation
(approximately 1 week post training.
• Time will be given for final questions and support needed by participants during the session.

Programme Content (Online Model)

Module 1:
The Foundations of Emotional Intelligence and Conflict Resolution

Session 1: 40 Min

Foundations of EQ

• Learn to understand the 5 Key Sectors of EQ.
• Learn the difference between IQ and EQ.
• Begin to develop the understanding of Personal and Interpersonal Working
• Learn the foundations of self-regulation and emotional management.

Session 2 : 45 Min

Understanding Emotion and How that Creates Conflicts

• Understand the Emotions Scale and it impacts the decision-making process and in turn can create conflict.
• Develop a fundamental understanding of how shifting emotional states can improve decision making in practical terms.
• Learn to read emotions in others and understand how to speak to their emotional state and need.

Break 10 Mins

Group Emotions Activity

• An activity will be used here to understand how emotions play a major role in conflicts, both as a cause but also in creating triggers.
• Emotional Core Beliefs
Participants will be asked to choose a few difficult emotions to work with (Fear, Sadness, Anger, etc) and explore what assumptions we make about each of them. This will help to demonstrate how misunderstandings can easily occur through biases.

Application in the Workplace
45 Mins

• An activity will be used here to understand how emotions play a major role in conflicts, both as a cause but also in creating triggers.
• Emotional Core Beliefs
Participants will be asked to choose a few difficult emotions to work with (Fear, Sadness, Anger, etc) and explore what assumptions we make about each of them. This will help to demonstrate how misunderstandings can easily occur through biases.

Module 2:
The Foundations of Conflict Resolution

Day 2

Session 3 : 45 Min

Scope Covered

Conflict Resolution Framework

Key Learnings

• Looking at communication, negotiation, while blending motivators and relationship building the structure will allow participants to see how conflict, and more specifically the people involved can be managed effectively.
• Here participants will be introduced to the Thomas-Kilmann Model of conflict resolution and its 4 strategies.

Break 10 Mins

Session 4 : 45 Mins

Conflict Resolution:
Process

• Participants will be introduced to the 8 Steps of conflict resolution.
• Explanations and distinctions for each will be given.
• This will provide a framework for the following sessions.

Session 5 : 45 Mins

The Underlying Causes of Conflict

• Learn the fundamentals of Conflict Triggers.
• We will look at Misunderstanding and how it creates conflicts.
• Participants will look at the idea of unmet expectations generating conflict.
• And participants will explore how unspoken needs create conflict.
• Distinctions will be given between needs and wants. .

Break 10 Mins

Day 2

Session 6 : 45 Mins

Scope Covered

Application in the Workplace

Key Learnings

• This session will be a facilitated open dialogue led by the trainers and in partnership with the participants.
• Participants will be asked to bring real experiences of past or current conflicts into a discussion in the room.
• The intention is to apply their newly learned frameworks and tools to the conflicts.
• Working a group, participants will be brainstorming and looking for new perspectives, and usage of the tools.
• Emphasis will be place on existing and real conflicts with internal or external stakeholders over theoretical scenarios.

Module 3:
Tools for Resolving Conflict

Day 3

Session 7 : 45 Min

Scope Covered

Managing Misunderstanding in Communication

Key Learnings

• The 4 Pillars of Communication
• Introduction to the Stakeholder Engagement Strategies
• Barriers to understanding will also be shared and explored as they relate to creating conflict.
• The barriers will also be used a key metric for application in resolving conflicts

Session 8 : 45 Min

Conflict Resolution Strategies

• The 5 most common strategies for conflict resolution will be introduce in this session:
1. Active Listening
2. Creating Perspective for All Parties
3. Converting Complaints into Action
4. Creating Empathy Between Parties
5. Generating Accountability
• Participants will be exposed to simple, applicable strategies to create compromise and mutual agreement during a conflict.
• The three primary strategies to be explore are:
1. Facilitation of Discussion
2. Mediation by a Third Party
• Creative Problem Solving

Session 9 : 90 Min

Application in the Workplace (Continued)

• Continuing from the previous discussion, lessons and action plans will be created from the content learned as well as discussions from earlier.
• The key function of the session is to create actionable plans for the participants to apply during their day-to-day operational roles.

Break 10 Mins

Module 4:
Tools for Resolving Conflict

Session 10 : 45 Min

Understanding Motivation and its Influence on Creating and Resolving Conflict

• Participants will learn the difference between tangible/extrinsic and intangible/intrinsic motivators.
• Clarification on different forms of internal motivation will be made: Autonomy, Recognition, Achievement, Fear, etc…
• Motivators often manifest as unspoken needs which create conflict but also act as a tool for resolution.
• Participants will learn how motivators are critical for creating agreement and supporting forward moving conversations in the face of organizational changes, initiatives, conflicts and/or disagreements.

Break 10 Mins

Session 11 : 45 Min

Empathy as a Conflict Resolution Tool

• Empathy is a core skill needed to create resolution and the various uses for how it is used to help resolve conflicts will be explored.
• Distinctions will be made between sympathy and empathy.
• Participants will be introduced to the Empathy Quadrant Tool which will allow them to develop their ability to see perspectives in a conflict.
• A video will be shown between two parties in conflict and they will be asked to map the two parties conflicts are demonstrating.

Break 10 Mins

Session 12 : 45 Min

Application in the Workplace (Continued)

• Continuing from the previous discussion, lessons and action plans will be created from the content learned as well as discussions from earlier.
• The key function of the session is to create actionable plans for the participants to apply during their day-to-day operational roles.

Module 5:
Tools for Resolving Conflict

Session 11 : 45 Min

How to Prepare for Win-Win Negotiations and Resolutions

• Understand the Win-Win Model of Negotiation
• Learn to develop the Conditions of Satisfaction for Excellent Negotiations
• Understand the sabotaging limiters to negotiation and how to overcome them.

Break 10 Mins

Session 12 : 45 Min

Self-Management Tools

• Learn a simple but powerful tool to allow for immediate shift of emotional state.
• The tool is a proprietary technique created for use by coachees in high pressure or emotionally triggering work environments like C-Suites.
• Learn how to use the tool to become emotional grounded and “level headed” quickly.
• Learn how to map and see patterns of predictable overwhelm pattern.
• Learn a tool that will support participants to interrupt overwhelm as it starts.

Break 10 Mins

Session 12 : 45 Min

Application in the Workplace (Continued)

• Continuing from the previous discussion, lessons and action plans will be created from the content learned as well as discussions from earlier.
• The key function of the session is to create actionable plans for the participants to apply during their day-to-day operational roles.

Final Wrap up 30 Mins

• Participants will be asked to distil key lessons and takeaways with each other.
• Participants will be asked to complete 2 surveys:
o Training Assessment
o Post Training Learning Evaluation
(approximately 1 week post training.
• Time will be given for final questions and support needed by participants during the session.

Pre & Post Competency Assesment (Optional)

The facilitators will work with the organisation to construct and deliver a pre and post knowledge assessment survey. This survey will be conducted in two parts:
        • Prior to the programme (approximately 3 to 5 days prior).
        • Immediately upon completion of the programme.
The assessment is designed to support management to ascertain the effectiveness of the training, its applicability and the absorption of the content by participants. It will also allow management to get a quantitative gauge on how confident the participants are in dealing with conflict, manage difficult situations created through conflict and how comfortable they feel, after the training, to apply what they have learned in the face of conflict.
Please note that additional fees apply for Pre & Post-Assessment Generation and Compilation.
 

Facilitator Background

(Below is a selection of facilitators. We try our best to match their skills to the project being proposed. TVG reserves the right to change facilitators without notice in case they get booked for other engagements prior to closing this project engagement.)

Jean-Paul Valdes (Lead Facilitator)

Jean-Paul Valdes, JP, is a co-founder of TVG Coaching and Training Sdn. Bhd. Having the experience of establishing his coaching, consulting and training business on his own, he leverages this experience in his coaching to help entrepreneurs, business owners and executives turn ideas into reality. He has spent over 13 years living and working in Malaysia and Singapore and brings global experience to his regional clients

Career Summary

Jean-Paul’s career in event management for a multi-national oil and gas association has seen him organise and execute conferences and events ranging for 40 to 22,000+ delegates from around the world. He worked closely with senior executives of with MNC’s like ExxonMobil, Shell, Total, as well as national oil companies like PETRONAS, PERTAMINA in Indonesia, PTTEP in Thailand, and many more.

He has been featured in magazines such as Brand Laurete for his expertise in experiential game-based learning and was featured by as a part of SME magazine for their revolutionary training programmes in Malaysia.

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Coaching and Training Background

His training in coaching includes over 220 hours of training in ontological coaching from Accomplishment Coaching’s Coaches Training Programme. During this training, he learned to support clients to change their behaviours, beliefs and habits to powerfully move forward and transform themselves. The bi-product of this holistic approach culminated in him creating a new and unique coaching style Onto-facilitative coaching.

Jean-Paul began his career in training by providing internal training for his employees and peer staff members. Upon starting out on his own, he created the Powerful Connections, communication training programme and has developed customized and unique team building programmes that blend experiential games, activities and in-depth debriefs to generate awareness and new actions.

He has most recently developed strategic thinking and design thinking based workshops used by leadership and board level members to determine the diagnose challenges and problems in order to ultimately  generate strategic solutions to move the organisation forward.

He is sought after for his strategic thinking and planning training, entrepreneurial skills programmes and his coaching, speaking and facilitation programmes, having traveled across Asia, Europe and South America.  He has been engaged around the globe by various Oil and Gas and Multinational Corporations to provide motivational and competency development talks. His work has helped Senior C-Suite executives transform their organisations to extraordinary high-performance businesses in a variety of industries like banking, technology development, network marketing, insurance, education, manufacturing and consulting.

Coaching, Facilitation and Stakeholder Management

Jean-Paul has been engaged by several organisations such as Johnson and Johnson, QSR and Unilever to conduct training with their teams on coaching, presentation and facilitation skills and conflict resolution. By bringing his coaching and professional experience, he has supported junior and senior executives to excel in engaging stakeholders at various levels from operations to the board itself to create positive and amicable relationships even with difficult parties.

Strategic Thinking and Planning Training

With his vast global experience, Jean-Paul has also taken his business coaching and consulting experience in the form of training organisations such as UOB Bank, RSPO, and MDEC, on how to plan and think strategically. By using the ability to bring his stories, and experience into the teaching environment, participants are given clear a solid foundational skills that are applicable back in the office immediately.

Jean-Paul has worked with, among others, the:

In Malaysia:

  • AceEduventures
  • Airfoil Services
  • BURSA Malaysia
  • Business Networking
  • International
  • CRADLE
  • Enagic
  • IJM
  • iProperty
  • Islamic Secretariat Board
  • Islamic Financial
  • Services Board
  • Petronas
  • REAL Education Group
  • CNS Corporation
  • DIKA College
  • Lenovo
  • MDEC
  • Johnson and Johnson
  • QSR Holdings
  • Roundtable of
  • Sustainable Palm Oil
  • Society of Petroleum
  • Engineers
  • Sunway Group
  • The Stock Brokers
  • Association
  • Unilever
  • UOB Bank
  • Wilhelmsen Ship
  • Management
  • Work Smartly

In Australia:

  • Woodgroup
  • Woodside
  • Schlumberger
  • Rio Tinto
  • U. of Adelaide
  • Santos

In Europe:

  • Total
  • Eni SA
  • BP

In Central and South America:

  • PDVSA
  • Schlumberger
  • Halliburton
  • EcoPetrol
  • PEMEX



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